Look, I’m not the type to blog about my personal life but I checked my emails this morning and had to share this one with the boys. Am I reading this correctly? Charles Schwab, a bank I have no qualms about except for them apparently thinking I have a minimum of $ 250,000 in cash in a checking account, is offering me the chance of a lifetime. For a new deposit of just a quarter of a million dollars into one of their taxable accounts, they’ll foot the bill on two rounds of golf.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure the list of golf courses you can play on includes some really nice ones. But they directed me to those in my corner of the woods, and uh, what ……?
No disrespect to the country clubs on this list, but we’re not even talking about Jack Nicklaus’ Muirfield here. You can play Silver Lake for $ 25 if you’re a member and $ 54 if you’re a guest. If you think this is going to make ANYONE put a quarter of a milly into your account, you are crazy. But that’s not even the craziest thing about the email (other than sending this to your part-time blogger mailing list who are making an undisclosed amount just below what you need for this. case). This comes from level 2 of the offer….
To get you to the next level, they will throw ONE DOZEN golf balls. Pick up the phone now because this offer won’t last long.
I literally had to check my calendar to see if it was April 1st when I read this. Because it’s more insulting than a $ 50 gift card at the Barstool store. But I can just imagine it now: it’s probably absolute madness across the country right now as everyone is calling their money managers telling them to sell everything and move it to Schwab. How else are you going to get Pro V1s? Unless you’re one of the richest 1% and have $ 50 in reserve lying around….
All those millionaires who have been sitting around trying to decide if they want to get into this thing called the stock market, well, here’s your time to do it. I know the market is at an all time high, but 12 golf balls… ..
I won’t even go into the fact that their next level requires a MILLION DOLLAR investment, but they will be launching 6 rounds of golf, a new driver and of course 12 new golf balls. How can you say no? Unless that person with a million dollars to make a new deposit to a taxable account already has a driver. Then it might not work. What a strange promo with no benefits….